


If You Loved Me, Why'd You Leave Me?

by Vanya



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: All I Want - Kodaline, HIV, M/M, Post-Prison Bren, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:20:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3241142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanya/pseuds/Vanya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One shot, short feelsy thing between Ste and Bren when he visits Bren in jail to tell him he has HIV</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Loved Me, Why'd You Leave Me?

_All I want is nothing more, to hear you knocking at my door_

_Cause if I could see your face once more_

_I could die a happy man, I'm sure._

 

Brendan jerked when there was a slam at his cell door, looking over at the guard who was glaring at him.

"Up Brady. Can't sleep your whole sentence away."

The Irishman rolled his eyes and moved himself to sit up. "I'll never get out, why shouldn't I?" He asked as the guard came in. The baton hit him so hard in the face that he smashed to the ground. Another kick to his stomach made him crumble into himself.

"Because you're suppose to be being punished, filthy murderer." The guard spat at him and turned to leave. "Hurry up and get dressed. You actually have a visitor today."

Brendan pulled himself up into a sitting position, wiping the blood from his mouth. He pulled himself up from the floor and changed, heading towards the visiting station.

 

_When you said your last goodbye_

_I died a little bit inside_

_I laid in tears in bed all night_

_Alone, without you by my side._

 

He had to resist the urge to grab Steven as soon as he saw him stand up as he walked in.

Waiting for him.

To see him and talk to him.

Even though he told him that it needed to end there. It obviously wasn't going to. Brendan's heard ached just from looking at him. He walked over and gently sat down in front of him, placing his hands on the table. "Steven... I thought I told you, you couldn't come here... You'll never listen will you?" He smiled a little, so happy on the inside that he hadn't listened to him.

Ste just smiled at him just the tiniest bit as he reached up to touch his face. "I never listen and I talk too much." He teased before tilting his head to the side as he rubbed Brendan's fuzzy face. "Oh Brendan. They're not being very nice to you again are they?" He whispered to him as Brendan leaned his face over into his hand just for a moment, relishing int the sweet feeling of his skin against his.

"Guards this time." He whispered as he pulled away, looking around to see who else was in the room with him. Ste came at the very first set of visiting hours so he walk almost completely alone. Brendan moved his hands and gently covered his hand with a small smile. "Gotta say I'm glad that you didn't listen to me. I'm just really-- happy to see you."

Ste's smiled faded from his face, swallowing hard as he stared at their hands. "That's-- Bren I need to tell you something--Something really important..."

Suddenly the younger man wouldn't look Brendan in the eyes and it was making him paranoid and scared. His heart was beating so hard in his chest it hurt. "Okay-- tell me... please I don't like suspense Steven."

He nodded a little and swallowed, looking up at him, eyes locking with his. "I've um-- I've got HIV. So-- this um... this will probably be the last time I ever see you."

Brendan's blue eyes widened as he stared at him. "You-- what? H-How the hell did that happen?" He didn't mean for it to come out as sharply as it did. Ste's hand came up and covered his mouth like he was trying to stop himself from crying.

"I'm sorry Bren-- after you-- After you went away I-- I got into drugs and I-- well you can guess how that went." He looked so hurt and even though he knew he wasn't suppose to touch him, Steven needed this. He needed to be held. So Brendan got up from the chair and walked around the table and wrapped his arms around him tightly, pressing his head into his chest. A choked noise came from his throat as he held back a sob.

What did he tell him?

He was angry because he was stupid enough to get into drugs in the first place but at the same time he had left him and so this-- this was all his fault all over again.

"I'm so sorry--"

_You brought out the best of me._

_A part of me, I've never seen._

_You took my soul and wiped it clean,_

_Our love was made for movie screens._

_But if you loved me, why'd you leave me?_

 

One of the guards moved over and started to pull him away from the younger man. Brendan reached for his hand and Ste grabbed it, not wanting to be pulled away from him. When Brendan didn't let go, he got hit again. Steven yelled as he hit the floor and was dragged away. "Brendan! No, please! J-Just let him be! Brendan!"

But he was gone.

Dragged away from Steven once more. He sat back down in his chair and started to sob.

 

_But if you loved me, why'd you leave me?_

_Take my body, take my body_

_All I want is,_

_All I need is,_

_To find somebody,_

_I want somebody like you._


End file.
